East Ryde

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A place where everyone knows your business but no one will help you when you’re stuck in a ditch.

I got kicked out of East Ryde for eating too many pies.

My cousin got locked in a toilet at East Ryde and cried for three hours.

East Ryde is like a bad breakup, you think it’s over, but it’s just the beginning.

A suburb so small it thinks it’s big, but everyone knows your mom’s name.

I tried to run away from East Ryde, but my mom followed me.

They even know my dog’s name in East Ryde.

I got a job at the local pie shop, just to escape East Ryde.

A place where the only way to get out is by getting hit by a truck or getting married to someone you hate.

My friend got married in East Ryde because he couldn’t escape.

I tried to leave East Ryde by running, got hit by a truck.

I hate East Ryde so much, I’d marry my dog before I’d stay there.