East Moline

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 5 definitions

1
East Moline is a town where rich white kids live on top of the hill in fancy houses, and poor kids of color live below the hill in broken houses that used to be nice. It's called Watertown for some stupid reason.
My cousin got caught speeding on Hill Street and got a ticket from a cop who looked like he just woke up.
My friend tried to run from the cops and ended up in the ditch with a broken bottle.
My little brother got caught drinking at McDonald’s and got kicked out.
2
East Moline has a high school called UT, which is the worst name ever. It's where all the slUTs go. The school is so boring, you can walk around for hours and end up at McDonald’s.
My teacher called me a slUT because I didn't do my homework.
I walked around for 2 hours and ended up at McDonald’s eating fries.
My friend tried to skip school and got caught by a cop.
3
East Moline is the worst place on Earth. There’s nothing fun to do. You can either go to the pool in the summer or just drink and smoke with your friends.
I went to the pool and got sunburned like a lobster.
I drank a whole bottle of soda and passed out in the hallway.
I smoked pot with my friend and got caught by the principal.
4
There are two Catholic schools in East Moline that nobody cares about. If you go there, you're the weird kid who nobody talks to.
My friend went to the merged school and nobody talked to him.
I tried to explain the school to my cousin and he just laughed.
I got called weird because I went to the school nobody cares about.
5
East Moline is a town where rich white kids learn to smoke pot and chug from poor kids. Everyone ends up hanging out and drinking together in the end.
My rich friend learned to smoke pot from my cousin.
I chugged a whole bottle of soda and passed out.
Everyone ends up drinking together at the park.
xs