East German

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5 views · Added 18d ago · 4 definitions

When you jerk off so hard you’re about to blow load, but you decide to quit cold turkey just to be a jerk. East Germans did this before every Olympic event, and it’s probably why they lost every race.

I did an East German the night before my math test and failed it because I was too distracted.

My brother did an East German before the prom and got too worked up to dance.

I did an East German before my first kiss and then my lips felt like they were on fire.

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A guy who can murder you from another state. He does ‘Kommando’ which is not no pants, it’s being a German Special Forces soldier who will find you in your sleep and probably kill you, then he’ll come back to haunt you for the rest of your life.

My cousin got messed up by a Kommando and now he’s too scared to leave his house.

I saw a Kommando at the mall and I ran out like I was on fire.

My dad’s friend got Kommando’d and now he’s like a ghost who just watches TV all day.

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A person or thing so strong they could probably lift a car and then do push-ups. Like a superhero who’s also a monster.

That guy at the gym is an East German, he could bench press my whole family.

My dog is an East German, he ate my homework and then did a backflip.

My mom is an East German, she can carry my entire closet and still do yoga.

by Slangipedia 15d ago

When you take so much Adderall and Viagra you’re basically a walking explosion. It’s not East German, but it might as well be.

I did an East German and I was so high I thought my math teacher was a wizard.

My sister did an East German and she texted me while she was having a heart attack.

I did an East German and I tried to run a marathon and just collapsed in the middle of the street.

by Slangipedia 15d ago