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A place where the sun rises and the Wi-Fi drops like your pants when you try to show off.
My cousin moved to Puerto Rico and now he’s just a sad man who eats plantains and stares at the ocean.
I told my mom I was going to East America, and she said, 'You’re just going to be sad with a beach.'
My friend got stuck in Puerto Rico and now he’s just a tourist who can’t find his way back.