easily

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1
You think you’ve got this game in the bag, you go on a rampage, you destroy everything, and then you find out none of it worked. You’re just a dumbass who couldn’t even get the basics right.
I thought I killed the level. I was wrong. I just got a participation trophy.
I destroyed every obstacle like they were my enemies. Turns out they were just my homework.
I thought I was the god of destruction. I was wrong. I was just the kid who forgot to do his math.
2
A song so good it makes you want to rip your shirt off and dance like you’re in a Chili Pepper commercial.
That song came on and I immediately started doing air guitar in my mom’s kitchen.
I was crying in my car and then that song started playing and I laughed like a maniac.
My dog started barking at the radio like it was a battle cry.
3
A word that means something is so obvious it’s like you’re explaining math to a toddler. Used by Riff Raff to make everything sound stupidly easy.
This problem is so easy it’s like I explained it to a baby.
You’re telling me you didn’t get that? I explained it like it was a bedtime story.
It’s so obvious I think I taught it to my goldfish.
4
Eez-Li-Er. A word to say someone is good at sex. Like, really good. But if you use it on a guy, you’re just embarrassing yourself because they all think they’re the best.
She’s so easy I think she got a degree in seduction.
He’s not easy. He’s just delusional.
That guy was so easy I thought he was paid to be.
5
A 0. A dumb person. A 0.5 is someone who laughs at everything. A 1 is the kind of person who gets excited about a paper cut and starts a riot.
That guy is a 0. He thought a joke was a personal attack.
I’m a 0.5. I laughed at my own joke and then cried because it was too good.
That kid is a 1. He got excited about a crumpled paper.
6
People who get mad about nothing. They yell, they sulk, they throw tantrums, and they expect you to give them a cookie and a hug just for being alive.
I said ‘hi’ and he yelled at me for 10 minutes.
She got offended by a typo. I left the room.
I called him a nerd and now he’s demanding an apology and a pizza.
7
Modifying a car part is easy because everyone thinks they’re a car god and can change parts in their sleep. They’re not. They just think they are.
I tried to modify my car and it looked like a robot exploded in my garage.
He said it was easy. It took me 3 hours and a YouTube tutorial.
I tried to make my car faster and now it just makes weird noises.
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