Earthy27445

Bro you look like Earthy27445 walked into a deep fryer

That guy at the gym who flexes like he’s gonna bust out of his shirt

My cousin’s ex who still texts me to tell me he’s still single

That dude at the buffet who takes 10 plates and eats them all in 5 minutes

My uncle who eats pizza for lunch and still says he's on a diet

The guy who tried to bench press a whole chicken and failed

That guy who wears the same sweatpants every day and still smells like a gym locker

My neighbor who yells at the mailman like he’s the enemy

The guy who tried to do a pull-up and just fell over

That guy who claims he’s a king and everyone else is just peasants

My dad who still thinks he’s the head of the family even though he forgot his own name

The guy who tried to ride a bike and fell over like a sack of potatoes

That guy who thinks he’s the reason the world was created and still eats donuts for dinner

My cousin who still thinks he’s the main character of his own story even though no one reads it

The guy who tried to do a cartwheel and just fell flat on his face

That guy who eats a whole pizza and still has room for a donut

My brother who eats like a horse and still calls it a snack

The guy who tried to do a squat and just collapsed like a pile of bricks