earthquakeologist

I’m gonna quit my job as an earthquakeologist if this earthquake doesn’t stop.

My boss said I need to log every little tremor or I’m getting a raise. No, I’m getting a raise.

I told my kid I’m an earthquakeologist. He said, ‘You’re just a loud person who yells at the earth.’

The earthquake hit right when I was eating my lunch. That’s not just a tremor, that’s a lunch break insult.

I’m not just measuring earthquakes, I’m judging them.

My cat ran out of the house during the quake. That’s not a problem. That’s a personal attack.

I got a degree in earthquakeology just so I can say I study shaking ground.

At the party, I said I’m an earthquakeologist. No one asked me about it again.

My mom said I should be a teacher, but I chose to study earthquakes because that sounds cooler.

I love it when the ground screams. That’s my favorite part of being an earthquakeologist.

I got a high five from the earth today. That’s how I know I’m good at my job.

I was sleeping when the ground screamed. I woke up and gave it a standing ovation.

The ground shook three times today. That’s not a normal earthquake, that’s a personal message.

I’m not just studying earthquakes. I’m trying to figure out what the ground is trying to tell me.

My neighbor said the ground is messing with him. I said, ‘You’re an earthquakeologist now.’

I’ve been measuring the ground for 10 years. It’s like dating an ex.

The ground moved twice today. That’s not just a tremor, that’s a reminder of our past.

I’ve had three relationships. Two of them ended because of earthquakes.