Earthquake Tripod

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When you're so wasted from giving your wife the full monty that you're half-dead trying to remember what your brain looks like.

I just tried to walk and my legs forgot how to work. What even is life?

After that long session, I looked like a zombie who just got hit by a truck.

My brain is now a greasy breakfast burrito.

The awkward shuffle you do in the bathroom while peeing like a sprinkler because you're too proud to admit you just got out of bed.

I’m peeing like a sprinkler and I won’t stop until I’m the best pisser in the house.

I shuffle like I just escaped a prison and I’m not coming back.

My feet are doing the cha-cha and I have no idea why.