earthologist

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A guy who studies dirt like it's the last pizza slice and he's the only one who cares.

I'm an earthologist. I know dirt better than my ex knows my lies.

This job pays well if you like shoveling and bad vibes.

I don't dig people. I dig dirt. That's a win-win.

A person who thinks earthworks are the best kind of work, even though they're just digging holes and crying about it.

I'm not sad. I'm just a earthologist having a bad day.

Digging holes is my therapy. You're welcome.

I don't need a vacation. I just need a new hole to fall into.

Someone who gets paid to look at dirt like it's a fancy painting and then yells at it when it doesn't make sense.

Dirt doesn't respect me. I'm a earthologist.

I looked at this dirt for 8 hours. It looked back and said 'nope.'

I'm not mad. I'm just a earthologist having a dirt tantrum.