earth yuppie

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an earth yuppie is a rich hippie who smells like patchouli and old money. they live in new mexico and think showers are a luxury.

i saw one wearing a hemp shirt and driving a lexus. it was like a hippie got a raise.

my uncle married one. now he has a yoga mat and a trust fund.

they live in the north of new mexico like it’s a hippie version of wall street.

earth yuppies are like hipsters who got rich and forgot how to be cool. they live in new mexico and think showers are a bonus.

they drive vans that cost more than my dad’s car.

one tried to teach my dog to meditate. it didn’t work.

they live in new mexico like it’s a yoga retreat for billionaires.

earth yuppies are people who hate the city but still have a penthouse. they live in new mexico and think showers are a miracle.

they live in new mexico but still complain about the weather like it’s a personal attack.

one took a yoga class and got a raise. it was like a dream.

they have a penthouse and still drink kale smoothies for breakfast.