Earth Snake Versus Water Monkey (Water Monkey (t)Ver(x)sus(o) Earth Snake)

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A human who can't stop picking at their boils and thinks they're a king.

My cousin's been picking at his face for three hours. He’s not a king. He’s a fool.

That guy at the gym thinks he’s a king. He’s just got a boil on his neck.

She’s been picking at her arm like it’s a treasure map. It’s just a sore.

A person so obsessed with their pimples they think they're a war hero.

He got into a fight with his dog because it wouldn't stop licking his pimple.

She claims her pimple saved her life. It didn’t. It just got bigger.

That guy fights a pimple like it’s a dragon. It’s not. It’s a zit.

A human who thinks their abscesses are the best part of their life and they're right.

He’s got a pimple the size of a melon and he’s proud of it.

She’s got a boil on her leg and she’s bragging about it like it’s a medal.

That guy’s got a sore the size of a football. He thinks it’s a trophy.

A human who fights their pimples like they’re in a cage match.

He’s picking at his face like it’s a wrestling match.

She’s got a pimple and she’s giving it a standing ovation.

That guy’s face looks like a war zone. He’s proud of it.

A person who thinks their boils are the most beautiful things in the world and they’re not wrong.

He’s got a boil the size of a donut and he thinks it’s a masterpiece.

She’s got a pimple the size of a planet and she’s smiling.

That guy’s got a sore on his cheek and he’s got a crown.

A human who lives in their abscesses and thinks they're royalty.

He lives in his pimple like it’s a palace.

She’s got a boil and she’s got a throne.

That guy’s got a sore the size of a kingdom and he’s ruling it.