Earth Pig

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

A gross, out-of-shape woman who thinks she owns the sidewalk and won't stop talking to you like you owe her money.

She sat on the bench like it was her throne and yelled at me for walking past her.

I tried to get through the mall and she blocked my path just to tell me her cat died last week.

She was eating a whole pizza on the subway and didn't move when I said 'excuse me.'

The biggest girl in the group who thinks she's the only one who can keep everyone from getting wasted and going home with some random guy.

She drank one beer and started yelling at the whole bar for not being sober enough.

She tried to stop her friend from dancing with the bartender like it was a crime.

She took the last shot and said nobody was going anywhere until she finished her story about her ex.

The office fat lady who does zero work but still gets a raise every year like she's some kind of magic human being.

She took two hours to print a report and still didn't know what it was about.

She claimed she was 'working from home' even though she was at the coffee shop.

She got a bonus for doing nothing and still had the nerve to complain about her pay.