earth fur

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The stuff that grows under your feet when you're too lazy to wipe your ass.

My lawn is so bad, it looks like it was grown by a drunk earth fur.

I stepped on some earth fur and it stank like my brother's gym sock.

The earth fur in my backyard is so long, it could be used as a jump rope.

The green stuff that makes your shoes look like they’ve been through a war.

I walked through earth fur and now my shoes look like they were dipped in mud and hatred.

The earth fur on my porch is so thick, it’s like a carpet made by a toddler.

I tried to mow the earth fur and my lawnmower cried.

The stuff that grows on the ground and makes you want to yell at the sky.

The earth fur in my yard is so bad, I’ve started a petition to have it exiled.

I tried to walk on earth fur and it bit me.

My dog stepped on earth fur and now he won’t stop scratching.