earth friendly

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a past fling who still wants your junk and calls you a ‘green’ because you didn’t throw your old love away

My ex said I was ‘eco-friendly’ because I didn’t dump her after the first fight.

He called me ‘earth-friendly’ because I still text him when I’m bored.

She said I was ‘green’ because I didn’t toss her out when I found out she cheated.

a former lover who’s still around because they’re too cheap to get a new one

She stayed with me because she’s too broke to get a new guy.

He’s still dating me because he’s too lazy to find someone else.

My ex said I was ‘earth-friendly’ because I didn’t leave her for a better offer.

a used-up lover who still wants your junk and says they’re saving the planet

She called me ‘green’ because I didn’t toss her out after the first week.

He said he was ‘earth-friendly’ because I didn’t let him die alone.

My ex said I was saving the planet because I didn’t leave her for a hotter guy.

a recycled lover who still wants your junk and acts like they care about the planet

She said I was ‘eco-friendly’ because I didn’t throw her away.

He called me ‘green’ because I still text him at 2 a. m.

My ex said I was saving the planet because I didn’t leave her for a new one.

a past lover who’s still around because they’re too stupid to move on

She’s still with me because she can’t handle a new guy.

He said I was ‘earth-friendly’ because I didn’t kick him out.

My ex said I was ‘green’ because I didn’t let him go.

a lover who used to be hot, but now they’re just a used-up piece of trash who still wants your junk

She used to be hot, but now she’s just a used-up piece of trash who still wants my junk.

He’s not as good-looking now, but he still wants my junk and calls me ‘eco-friendly’.

My ex said I was saving the planet because I didn’t throw her away.