earth friendly

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1
a past fling who still wants your junk and calls you a ‘green’ because you didn’t throw your old love away
My ex said I was ‘eco-friendly’ because I didn’t dump her after the first fight.
He called me ‘earth-friendly’ because I still text him when I’m bored.
She said I was ‘green’ because I didn’t toss her out when I found out she cheated.
2
a former lover who’s still around because they’re too cheap to get a new one
She stayed with me because she’s too broke to get a new guy.
He’s still dating me because he’s too lazy to find someone else.
My ex said I was ‘earth-friendly’ because I didn’t leave her for a better offer.
3
a used-up lover who still wants your junk and says they’re saving the planet
She called me ‘green’ because I didn’t toss her out after the first week.
He said he was ‘earth-friendly’ because I didn’t let him die alone.
My ex said I was saving the planet because I didn’t leave her for a hotter guy.
4
a recycled lover who still wants your junk and acts like they care about the planet
She said I was ‘eco-friendly’ because I didn’t throw her away.
He called me ‘green’ because I still text him at 2 a. m.
My ex said I was saving the planet because I didn’t leave her for a new one.
5
a past lover who’s still around because they’re too stupid to move on
She’s still with me because she can’t handle a new guy.
He said I was ‘earth-friendly’ because I didn’t kick him out.
My ex said I was ‘green’ because I didn’t let him go.
6
a lover who used to be hot, but now they’re just a used-up piece of trash who still wants your junk
She used to be hot, but now she’s just a used-up piece of trash who still wants my junk.
He’s not as good-looking now, but he still wants my junk and calls me ‘eco-friendly’.
My ex said I was saving the planet because I didn’t throw her away.
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