Earth, Earth, I am Jupiter!

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A stupid Russian song that people scream like they just won a fight with a toilet.

My cousin sang it in the shower and woke up the entire neighborhood.

My teacher made us listen to it and I nearly choked on my lunch.

I texted my friend 'Earth, Earth, I am Jupiter!' and he replied with a photo of a confused cat.

A Russian song that sounds like someone is yelling in a crowded subway and nobody cares.

My mom played it on repeat and I wanted to throw my phone out the window.

My dog barked at it like it was a monster.

I used it as a ringtone and my boss asked if I was mad at him.

A Russian song that people use to brag like they’re the king of the universe.

My brother used it in a TikTok and got 10 likes from his grandma.

I used it in a DM and my crush asked if I was trying to impress them.

My friend’s mom sang it in the grocery store and the cashier gave her a free bag of chips.