earth dweller

I'm not an earth dweller, I'm a human being. You're just a blob on the floor.

Why do you think I live here? I didn't pay rent to float in the sky.

You're not a space alien, you're just a bad choice.

If I had the guts, I'd be on Mars eating tacos with aliens.

I'm not scared of the vacuum of space, I'm scared of my mom's cooking.

I'd rather die on earth than eat another sandwich from my dad.

I left the planet once. It was a mistake.

I tried to move to Mars and got lost in the mall.

I had a spaceship, but I couldn't find the remote.

I don't want to haunt your house, I just want a decent internet connection.

I'd rather be alive and grumpy than dead and cool.

Vampires are just people who can't handle the sunlight and bad hair.

I'd rather be on earth with my friends than on a spaceship with my cousins.

I can't stand my cousin's annoying laugh. That's why I'm still here.

I tried to go to space, but my cousin came with me. I regret everything.

I'm not going to be a pizza box floating in space. That's just sad.

I tried to be a spaceship, but I got stuck in the fridge.

Don't turn me into a pizza box. I've had enough of cheese.