earth biscuit

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A dirty hippie lady who smells like a dead raccoon and thinks growing mold in her hair is a fashion statement.

She showed up to the concert wearing a shirt that had been inside a trash can for three years.

She tried to hug me and I almost passed out from the smell.

She claims her beard is made of spiritual energy and refuses to shave it even when it's full of dirt and spaghetti.

A frisbee that's been used so much it's got the personality of a dying dog.

The frisbee flew into a bush and came out covered in leaves and hair.

It got stuck in a tree and had to be rescued by a kid who was also covered in leaves.

It was so old it started talking to people and telling them it was tired of being thrown.

A person who smells like a rotten sock and thinks it's a badge of honor to be completely gross.

He showed up to work with a beard that had bugs in it and no one knew what to do.

He eats his lunch on the floor and doesn't even bother to wipe his hands.

He claims he can hear the vegetables in his garden screaming when he forgets to water them.