eart

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Eart is the dirt ball we’re all stuck on, and it’s the reason we’re all stuck with each other, screaming at each other like feral animals.

"I’m gonna die on this dirt ball, and I’m taking you with me."

"This planet is the worst, and I blame it for my bad decisions."

"Eart is why my mom still talks to me."

Eart is when you’re so attached to something that you’re like a soggy piece of pizza stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

"I eart this pizza so hard, I cried."

"She earted my feelings and now we’re married."

"My dog earted my mom’s cooking and now it won’t leave the kitchen."

Eart is when you’re eating and farting at the same time, like a confused animal with a food truck and a gas station.

"I earted my breakfast and now my coworkers are judging me."

"My dog earted during the movie and I had to leave."

"I earted so hard, my pants fell off."

Saying "Eart my fart" is the worst pickup line ever, but it works because people are either scared of you or impressed by your dumbness.

"Eart my fart, baby, or I’ll beat you with my feelings."

"I said eart my fart to my boss and now I’m promoted."

"My ex said eart my fart and now I’m crying in the bathroom."