earresponsible

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You’re so clueless you think your head is a trash can and everything important goes in the recycling.

My mom yelled at me for burning the house down, and I thought she was talking about my hair.

He missed the final exam because he was too busy arguing with a toaster.

She said ‘don’t forget your homework,’ and he went to bed thinking it was a bedtime story.

You’re like a goldfish with a phone, you hear everything, but you don’t remember anything.

He heard the teacher say ‘test tomorrow,’ but he thought it was a joke about tacos.

She knew her friend was crying, but she thought it was just a dramatic performance.

He heard the alarm clock go off, but he thought it was his little brother singing.

You’re so lazy you’d let your brain take a nap just to avoid listening.

He fell asleep during the fire drill and woke up when the ceiling collapsed.

She ignored her dad’s warning about the dog and got bit on the leg.

He missed the bus because he thought it was a dream.

You’re the kind of person who thinks ‘I heard that’ means ‘I heard that and I’m going to pretend it never happened.’

He said ‘I heard you failed the test,’ and he walked away like nothing happened.

She said ‘I heard you broke your mom’s favorite vase,’ and she kept eating her cereal.

He said ‘I heard the teacher is going to fail you,’ and he started drawing on the wall.

You’re like a deaf person who also thinks the world is out to get them.

He said ‘I didn’t hear the bell,’ but he also said ‘the bell is out to get me.’

She missed the bus because she thought it was a conspiracy.

He heard the teacher say ‘no homework,’ but he thought it was a trap.