Early Release

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When the school day gets cut short so students can go home and not have to deal with their parents’ bad moods or the rest of the day’s torture.

My teacher said, 'Early release today!' I screamed, 'YES! I’M GONNA LIVE!'

My friend cried when she saw the clock: 'I thought I had to stay until 3:00!'

My brother said, 'Early release? That means no math!' I said, 'That means no math!'

When a man wakes up and jizzes before he even finishes his coffee.

My dad said, 'I had early release this morning,' I said, 'That means you didn’t have to go to work!'

My uncle said, 'I had early release before my kids even woke up!'

My neighbor said, 'Early release is the best part of my day!' I said, 'You’re a weird man!'