Early Onset Caucasia

A super annoying mental illness that happens to white women, known as 'Karen.' It gets worse as they get older. They yell at people, then act like they're the victim when cops show up. They know they're totally wrong but still want a manager. They call 911 on anyone who's doing anything, especially if they're black.

This disease makes white women think they're right about everything. They use cops to threaten people, not help them. They steal everything, music, ideas, property, money, and even your dignity. They think they're rich just because they have a tiny vanilla and raisins in their potato salad.

This illness is caused by things like not doing squats, not exercising, and thinking Jesus was white. To cure it, you need Hennessy, Atlanta, and you swap paprika for Lawrys. You take vitamin D in every way possible, by mouth, up the butt, or through your vagina. You can even use it as a face mask, but only if you’re rich enough to care about your skin.

This disease is so bad that even people who don’t have it suffer from it the most. Doctors don’t help because they suddenly don’t care about your well-being. If you go to the doctor, it will make your Early Onset Caucasia even worse. You don’t need medicine, you need Hennessy and a trip to Atlanta.