Earlville

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4 views · Added 14d ago · 2 definitions

1
A place where old people hang out and talk about stuff that makes no sense. It’s like being stuck in a time warp with a bunch of grumpy retirees who think they’re still cool.
My grandma says Earlville is the best place to get free coffee and bad advice.
I asked my grandpa why he moved to Earlville, and he said, 'Because it’s the only place that still respects donuts.'
My cousin’s dog thinks Earlville is a vacation spot.
2
A town so small it probably thinks it’s the center of the universe. It’s famous for having more sex offenders than a jail full of criminals who all have a side hustle as teachers.
My uncle moved to Earlville because he heard it’s the only place where everyone knows your business, and your secrets.
My friend’s mom got a divorce because her ex-husband was a sex offender from Earlville.
My cousin’s teacher was arrested because he was a sex offender from Earlville, and he still teaches kids.
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