earls

Bro, that earl is like a walking rainbow and he’s got more sass than my grandma on a Sunday.

I saw him at the mall and he was flirting with the security guard. Classic earl.

He texted me, ‘Hey, I’m your new favorite gay motha trucka. Let’s make some bad decisions together.’

That earl’s got a face that could make a judge cry and hips that could make a trucker weep.

She walked into the room and her dad looked like he’d just been hit by a bus.

Her dad said, ‘That’s my daughter, and she looks like a man who had a bad day and a good make-up artist.’

I ate three burgers and became an earl. It was glorious chaos.

She started puking in the middle of the grocery store and became an earl for life.

He was so sick he looked like a dog who just got dumped on by a garbage truck.

That earl’s got a body like a superhero and a cock that could make a king jealous.

He’s so tall he looks like he’s about to touch the ceiling.

He said, ‘I’m not just big, I’m legendary.’ I believe him.

He walked in and I immediately had an orgasm. That’s how good he is.

He kissed me and I felt like I’d been hugged by a cloud.

He’s so sexy, my dog got jealous and started barking at him.

That earl’s got a smile that could melt ice and a body that could make a statue weep.

He walked in and the whole room got distracted. That’s how sexy he is.

He’s the kind of man who makes your heart skip a beat and your pants feel tighter.

That earl’s got more uses than a man with a second job.

He’s the reason your car runs and your engine doesn’t cry.

He’s like the backbone of every car, and he’s got more style than a fashion icon.