EARGAMIC

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so hot you could fry eggs on their face

My cousin’s new girlfriend is EARGAMIC. I tried to cook breakfast for her and my pan caught fire.

That guy at the gym looked like he just walked out of a sauna and a blender.

My teacher said I was EARGAMIC when I kissed the substitute teacher in front of the class.

so attractive you want to rip their clothes off and eat them

That guy at the mall looked so EARGAMIC I almost ran into a display case.

My dog chased my friend’s new boyfriend because he was EARGAMIC.

I got a detention for staring at my crush for ten minutes straight. He was EARGAMIC.

so sexy you could make a statue out of them

My neighbor’s new roommate is so EARGAMIC I carved a tiny statue of him out of my math homework.

The guy who sold me my soda was EARGAMIC. I bought three liters just to look at him.

My crush’s twin brother is EARGAMIC. Now I’m confused and annoyed.

so good-looking you could win a beauty pageant and still lose

That girl in my class is so EARGAMIC she could win Miss America and still lose to a glittery potato.

My uncle’s new girlfriend is EARGAMIC. He’s now fighting with his ex.

My dog’s best friend is EARGAMIC. He’s now my dog’s rival.

so hot they could melt the sun

My friend’s new crush is so EARGAMIC the sun tried to run away from them.

That guy at the bus stop was EARGAMIC. The bus driver almost crashed because he was distracted.

My mom said I was EARGAMIC when I kissed my dad in front of my relatives.