ear monocle

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2 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

1
a smelly earpiece that only one ear gets to suffer from, usually attached to a string that looks like it was stolen from a jail cell
My dad’s ear monocle smells like he slept in a gym sock.
That ear monocle is so loud, I think it’s trying to wake the dead.
Why does my ear monocle have a lanyard? Did I get robbed by a string?
2
a single-ear radio gadget that’s more annoying than a group of pigeons in a subway car
My ear monocle is louder than my brother’s screaming at football games.
I wear my ear monocle like it’s a curse from the gods.
That ear monocle is so annoying, I want to throw it at my neighbor.
3
a one-ear headset that usually comes with a string and is mostly used by people who think they’re cool
My ear monocle is so cool, it makes my dog jealous.
That ear monocle is attached to a string like it’s trying to escape.
I wear my ear monocle because I think I’m a rock star.
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