ear dildo

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A fancy piece of junk you wear in your ears so you can talk like you're important while everyone else is yelling at you.

My dad wears his ear dildo everywhere, even when he's just watching TV and it's not even on.

I tried to call my mom, but she was using her ear dildo to listen to a podcast about cats. I hung up.

My teacher wears hers during class, but she still yells at us like we're all deaf and dumb.

A thing you stick in your ear to block out the noise of your life, like your brother screaming, your mom yelling, and your dad's terrible music.

I stuck my ear dildo in during math class, and I didn't even notice when the teacher walked out.

My brother wears his ear dildo while doing yardwork, but he still trips over the lawn gnome.

I used my ear dildo to sleep through my sister's terrible rendition of 'Never Gonna Give You Up.'

A stick with cotton on the end, used to clean your ears or to annoy your brother when he won't stop making noise.

I used my ear dildo to clean my ears before bed, and I accidentally poked my brother in the eye.

My mom used her ear dildo to clean my ears, and it was the worst thing ever.

I used my brother's ear dildo to poke him in the ear while he was trying to listen to his podcast.