Eagles’ Tears

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1
The liquid gold that makes America’s heart go boom. It’s either sweet tea so strong it’ll rot your teeth or Mountain Dew so bad it’ll make your soul cry. Also known as the juice that turns adults into sugar-coated zombies.
I drank six cups of Eagles’ Tears and now I’m floating in a sugar coma.
My dad drinks Eagles’ Tears every morning and it’s like he’s trying to become a syrup monster.
The Eagles’ Tears was so sweet, my dog licked the table and then got diabetes.
2
What happens when an eagle gets a little too happy and decides to let it all out. It’s like the liquid version of a middle schooler’s first crush.
I saw an eagle doing the Eagles’ Tears and it was like he just got a 100 on a math test.
My cousin’s dog got sprayed by an eagle and now he’s doing the Eagles’ Tears every day.
The Eagles’ Tears is so strong, it turned my math teacher into a crying eagle.
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