Eagle Foods

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5 views · Added 14d ago · 3 definitions

1
A food company from Cleveland that makes stuff you eat when you’re too lazy to cook, and also makes milk that tastes like regret.
My mom eats Eagle Foods every day. She says it’s better than my dad.
I bought Eagle Brand milk and it tasted like my ex’s lies.
Eagle Foods is the only thing keeping me from crying in the grocery store.
2
A food company from Ohio that got rich by stealing milk brands and pretending they were cool.
Eagle Foods is like a thief who stole my milk and called it a promotion.
They bought the milk brands and now they act like they invented them.
Eagle Foods is just a bunch of guys in Cleveland who don’t know how to make good milk.
3
A food company that makes comfort food for people who are too sad to cook and too broke to buy anything else.
Eagle Foods is like a hug for my stomach.
I eat Eagle Foods when I’m sad and my wallet is even sadder.
I don’t have money, but I still eat Eagle Foods. It’s like my soul is being comforted.
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