Eaftotheism

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The idea that God lives inside your head like a bad roommate. You, me, and everyone else are all God, whether we like it or not.

My therapist said I'm God. I said, 'Great, now I have to pay rent.'

My friend thinks he's God. He doesn't know he's also my boss.

I told my kid he's God. He said, 'Cool, can I get a job?'

God is just a fancy word for you being full of yourself. You, me, and every other person are all God, even if we're not dressed for it.

I told my ex she's God. She said, 'Then why did you leave me?'

My dog thinks he's God. He eats my food and looks at me like I owe him money.

My mom said I'm God. I said, 'That's why I'm broke.'

The theory that God is just you, but with better hair. You, me, and everyone else are God, even if we're not wearing hats.

I told my boss he's God. He said, 'Then why am I still working?'

My little brother thinks he's God. He doesn't know he's also my enemy.

My dad said he's God. I said, 'Then why are you still paying taxes?'