e-stalkage

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you chase someone online like a dog with a bone and you won’t stop until you get them to fall for you

Hey, I saw your profile pic. Are you single? I’m not. I’m very not.

You posted a photo of your breakfast. I’m now following you. You’re my new obsession.

I just liked your post 12 times. You’re gonna like me back.

you spam someone online until they scream and hide in a closet

I just sent you 200 messages. I’m not done. I’m just getting started.

You said you were busy. That means you’re not busy enough for me.

I’m gonna follow you to the grocery store if you don’t reply.

you love someone so much you turn their online life into your personal torture chamber

I’m going to comment on every post you make until you cry.

I’m going to tag you in every photo I post. You’re my new sidekick.

I’m going to send you a message every time I eat a sandwich.

you’re so obsessed with someone online you start talking to them like they’re your long lost soulmate

You said you like pizza. That’s all I need to know. We’re gonna be together forever.

I’m gonna name my cat after you. That’s how much I love you.

You’re my forever friend. We’re gonna be besties for life.

you follow someone online like a detective and you’re not leaving until you find out their whole life story

I just followed you. I’m gonna follow you to the moon if you don’t tell me everything.

You posted a photo of your dog. I’m now following your dog’s Instagram.

I’m gonna read your bio 100 times. You’re my new favorite person.

you love someone so much you start spamming their friends just to get closer to them

I just sent your friend a message. She said you’re my new favorite person. That’s all I needed.

I’m going to tag your friend in every post. They’re gonna tell you about me.

I’m gonna follow your friend just to get closer to you.