e-stalk

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Following someone online like a hungry dog waiting for a bone.

I e-stalk my crush every day. He has no idea I exist.

I e-stalk my ex because he still has a six-pack and I don’t.

I e-stalk my teacher because she posts cute pictures of her dog.

When you obsess over someone’s online life like they’re your new best friend and your ex all at once.

I e-stalk my crush because he’s hot and I’m too shy to talk to him.

I e-stalk my ex because he blocked me and I still love him.

I e-stalk my neighbor because she has nice tits and I’m a pervert.

Looking up someone’s life online like they’re a detective in a mystery novel and you’re the dumb guy who got caught.

I e-stalk my crush because he has a cool profile picture and I’m a loser.

I e-stalk my ex because he still likes me and I’m a desperate fool.

I e-stalk my coworker because she’s smart and I want to be her friend.

When someone won’t stop talking to you online, even when you tell them to go to hell.

He e-stalked me on AIM even after I blocked him. He changed his name 10 times.

She e-stalked me on Messenger even after I said I hate her.

He e-stalked me on Facebook even after I unfollowed him and called him a loser.

When your coworker looks up your name online all day because they think you’re the most amazing person ever.

My coworker e-stalked me because he has a mancrush on me. He looked up my whole life.

My coworker e-stalked me because he thought I was a genius.

My coworker e-stalked me because he wanted to be my best friend and I said no.

Shannice is the name of a girl who e-stalks people like they owe her money.

Shannice e-stalks me every day. She thinks I’m her new best friend.

Shannice e-stalks me because I said I hate her.

Shannice e-stalks me because she thinks I’m the coolest person ever.