e-meet

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When two clueless people start talking to each other online like they’re best friends even though they’ve never seen each other’s face.

Hey bro, let’s e-meet and chat about the meaning of life and why your pizza is bad.

I just e-meet this guy and he already thinks he’s my dad.

Why did I e-meet this person? They think I’m a robot.

A fancy way of saying you just started talking to someone online, like they’re important and you’re trying to sound cool.

Hey, I e-meet you on Twitter. Let’s be friends. Please.

I e-meet this girl and now I’m obsessed with her cat’s opinions.

I e-meet my boss and now I feel like I owe him money.

A poser’s way of saying they met you online, like they think they’re in a movie and you’re just a background extra.

I e-meet you and now I’m your personal hype man. You’re welcome.

I e-meet this guy and now I think he’s a spy.

I e-meet my ex and now I’m questioning my life choices.

When you first talk to someone online, and you act like it’s the most important thing ever, even though it’s just a text.

I e-meet my crush and now I’m texting them like they’re my soulmate.

I e-meet my teacher and now I’m scared of math again.

I e-meet my dog and now he thinks he’s a rockstar.