E. Lee

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1
A woman so perfect she could make your mom cry. You’d walk through fire just to make her laugh.
My girl is E. Lee. I’d die for her. And I might.
You call her E. Lee? I’ve got a 50% chance of getting a divorce.
E. Lee? That’s the highest compliment I’ve ever gotten. And I’m still mad about it.
2
A rock star who took over from a guy named Randy Rhoads. He played with Ozzy, then left to start his own band, then came back for a few more albums, and now he’s playing with some kid band from Las Vegas.
Jake E. Lee? He’s the guy who got fired from Ozzy’s band. Twice.
He plays with Ozzy, starts his own band, then leaves again. What’s next? A cooking show?
He’s so famous he’s got a band from Las Vegas. That’s like being a rock star and a chicken.
3
A general who was so good he could fight a whole army with one hand tied behind his back. He was born in Virginia, and he chose the South even when it made no sense.
He was so good he could beat an army with one hand. And he had a hand tied behind his back.
He was born in Virginia. So he had to be on the South’s side. No questions asked.
He was offered a job by the North. He said no. And that was the best decision ever.
4
A general who turned down a job from Lincoln. He was loyal to his family, even when his family was wrong.
Lincoln offered him a job. He said no. He was loyal to his family. Even though they were wrong.
He was a good general, but he had no sense. Turned down a job from Lincoln.
He wouldn’t take a job from Lincoln just because his family was wrong. That’s not loyalty. That’s stupidity.
5
A general who led the South through some wins and some losses. He was polite, but he was also crushed after losing Gettysburg.
He was polite, but he was also crushed after losing Gettysburg. That’s a lot for one man.
He led the South through battles and losses. And he cried after Gettysburg. That’s sad.
He was a general who lost Gettysburg and cried. That’s a real man.
6
A very polite general who was also a total traitor. He led the South, but he was a terrible person.
He was a polite general who was a total traitor. That’s the worst of both worlds.
He was loyal to the South, but he was also a terrible person. That’s not a good combo.
He was a general, a traitor, and a terrible person. That’s a lot for one man.
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