E E HO

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when your girl is a total ho in retail and you’re so mad you want to punch a vending machine

My girl left me for a Target employee. I threw a snack bar at her.

She got promoted at Walmart and I got demoted in life.

I saw her with a guy in the clearance section. I yelled, 'That’s my discount!'

when your girl is a retail ho and you're so mad you start screaming at the self-checkout

I walked into the store, saw her with a guy, and screamed, 'I pay for that cart!'

She got a free coffee and I got a free ticket to the ER.

I tried to ring up my own stuff but the machine laughed at me.

when your girl is a retail ho and you're so mad you start fighting with the stock boy

I saw her with the stock boy and I tackled him. He dropped a whole shelf of cereal.

I yelled, 'That's my girl!' and he yelled, 'That's my job!'

We fought over a box of cereal. It was the worst cereal fight ever.