E Dawged

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11 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

1
Blowing the test out of the water so hard the teacher thinks you cheated with a magic spell.
I aced that math test so bad the teacher asked if I used a wizard's wand
Got a perfect score and the teacher said I must have stolen the answers from the future
I got 100% and the teacher said I was probably a genius in disguise
2
A giant red-haired freak who loves gold and swords more than his own sanity.
That E Dawg walked into the room with a sword and a bag full of gold
I saw that E Dawg fighting a dragon with just a sword and a grin
That E Dawg has more gold than the king and still wants more
3
A crazy lady who flies a roflcopter and shoots rockets at people with moles or ants on their face. She eats scran like it's going out of style.
That E Dawg flew over my house with a roflcopter and shot a rocket at my neighbor
She ate so much scran she exploded and covered the street in scran
She screamed about guitars and piddled everywhere like a madwoman
4
When the universe decides to give you the worst possible day, like it's your personal enemy.
I got stuck in traffic, my phone died, and my dog ate my homework
My pizza arrived late, my dog ate it, and I got a bad grade
The sky turned purple, my dog ran away, and my teacher yelled at me
5
A blonde girl who looks like she was hit by a bus and has the brain of a confused chicken. She hits on guys like they owe her money.
That blonde girl asked me out like I was her best friend
She hit on me and said I was the most attractive guy she'd ever seen
She came up to me and said, 'You're my new boyfriend, deal with it'
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