E and A

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The noise an ambulance makes when it speeds out of your block like it’s trying to escape a mob of angry middle schoolers.

E and A when my mom’s car broke down and she had to ride the bus.

E and A as my cousin zoomed out of the hospital like he was running from the cops.

E and A as my dog ran out of the vet’s office like he was escaping a fire.

The most annoying rap name ever. Like when someone repeats the same syllable over and over like a broken parrot.

FEFE when my cousin raps in the car and it’s just terrible.

ZEZE when my brother said it like he was trying to be cool.

E and A when my friend raps and it’s just a mess.

A military trick where you run and hide like a coward when the enemy is coming.

Escape and Evasion when my brother hid under the bed from the monster in his closet.

Escape and Evasion when my dad ran away from the cop who gave him a ticket.

Escape and Evasion when I snuck out of the house to avoid doing my homework.

A silly face that looks like a kid who just saw a ghost. The eyes are the e’s and the mouth is the comma.

E, e when my friend saw a spider on the ceiling.

E, e when my dog saw a cat in the park.

E, e when my mom saw my messy room.

A face you make when you’re thinking someone is lying to you. Like when your friend says they did their homework but you know they didn’t.

E-e when my friend said he did his homework but I saw his phone.

E-e when my brother said he didn’t eat my lunch but I found it in the trash.

E-e when my mom said she didn’t yell at me but I heard her from the next room.

What you say when you’re too lazy to think of a real reply. Just say E and be done with it.

E when my friend asked me what I was doing and I had no idea.

E when my mom asked if I wanted breakfast and I was still asleep.

E when my brother asked me a question and I just said E and left.

The worst meme ever made. A picture of a guy with a stupid face and a letter E at the bottom like it’s the end of the world.

E when my friend sent me the meme and it was so bad.

E when my mom saw it and laughed at me.

E when my brother posted it on his Instagram and everyone mocked him.