D.D.A. degree

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A doctorate for someone so dumb they think the moon is made of cheese and they brought a ladder to climb it.

My cousin got a D. D. A. because he tried to text message a cow.

My neighbor got one for thinking the mailman was a thief who stole his sandwich.

My uncle got it after he tried to fix a toaster with a hammer and a prayer.

A degree for someone who can't tell the difference between a joke and a brick to the face.

She got a D. D. A. after she tried to explain why the sky is green.

He got it for thinking a pizza was a hat and wearing it to work.

My friend got it after he told his boss he was going on vacation to the moon.

A fancy title for someone who has no idea what they're doing and thinks they're the king of the world.

He got a D. D. A. for trying to cook a steak with a laser pointer.

She got it after she told her teacher the Earth was flat and made a model out of clay.

My brother got it because he tried to run a marathon in socks and a hat.

A degree for someone who thinks they’re smart, but the whole world knows they’re a walking disaster.

My friend got a D. D. A. after he tried to teach a dog calculus.

She got it because she thought the sun was a giant light bulb.

My uncle got it after he tried to build a house out of cereal boxes.

A doctorate for someone who has the brain of a goldfish and the patience of a toddler.

He got a D. D. A. for thinking the internet was a magic door.

She got it after she tried to eat a whole cake in one bite and failed.

My cousin got it because he tried to talk to a wall and asked it questions.

A degree for someone who has no idea what they're doing and thinks they're the king of the world.

He got a D. D. A. for trying to fix a broken chair with a glue gun and a banana.

She got it after she told her teacher the moon was made of chocolate.

My brother got it because he tried to ride a bicycle with a backpack full of pillows.