Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A clueless twerp who thinks they're the smartest person in the room, but they're really just a waste of oxygen.

My cousin is a daftie. He tried to fix the TV with a banana.

At school, the daftie sat in the wrong class for three weeks.

He said, 'I’m not daft, I’m just misunderstood.'

2

A brain-dead lunatic who thinks they’re the king of the world, but they're just a mess of bad decisions.

The daftie tried to ride a skateboard on a bus. It didn’t go well.

He texted me at 3 a. m. saying he was ‘taking over the moon.’

He told the teacher he was ‘a genius in disguise.’

3

A Glasgow idiot who thinks they’re clever, but they’re just a hot mess.

My daftie neighbor tried to grow a beard out of his nose.

He wore a hat inside the house and called it ‘a fashion statement.’

He told me he could speak five languages. I asked him to say ‘hello’ in one. He said ‘howdy.’

4

A daftie is someone who’s so clueless, they think a donkey is a horse that’s been kicked in the face.

My daftie friend tried to make a pizza with a banana instead of cheese.

He thought a computer was a magical box that hated him.

He tried to dance to a radio in a library and got kicked out.

5

A daftie is a Scottish person who doesn’t know the difference between a fish and a piece of furniture.

He said the fish was ‘bored’ because it wasn’t on social media.

He tried to paint the ceiling and ended up in the soup.

He told the shopkeeper he was ‘buying a chair for his cat.’

6

A daftie is a fun-loving idiot who’s always up to something stupid, but you can’t help liking them.

He jumped in a pool full of spaghetti and said it was ‘a lifestyle.’

He tried to ride a goat to work and got stuck in traffic.

He told the teacher he was ‘a superhero who forgot his powers.’

7

A daftie is someone who says dumb stuff so loud, it makes the whole room cringe.

He told the class, ‘I can speak French, Spanish, and the language of aliens.’

He said, ‘I’m not daft, I’m just ‘in a different league.’

He texted me, ‘I am the smartest person ever. Also, I own a llama.’