dadville

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The magical land where all dads live forever, even when they're dead and stink like old pizza.

'I came from Dadville, and I'm still alive!', my dad, who passed away in 2015 and still smells like a pizza box from 1998.

'Dadville is where your dad goes to smoke cigars and yell at the TV.', my mom, who's been married to him for 30 years.

'I was born in Dadville, and I still don't know what that means.', my brother, who's 12 and has no idea why he was born in Dadville.

The only painkiller that makes you feel like you're dying, but your dad says it's the best thing ever.

'Take two of these, and you'll be fine!', my dad, who took 10 and still felt like he was dying.

'This is the strongest painkiller in the world!', my dad, who just took it and passed out on the couch.

'I don't need this. I can just punch the pain away.', my dad, who just punched the couch and broke his finger.

The list of things your dad makes you do when you're sick, even if you're already dead.

'Drink this soup, or I'll come in and yell at you!', my dad, who just yelled at me and I'm still alive.

'You have to take your vitamins, or I'll throw you out of the house!', my dad, who just threw me out of the house and I still have to take vitamins.

'If you don't take your medicine, I'll come in and yell at you again!', my dad, who came in and yelled at me again.