Dadism

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The random stupid stuff your dad says when he's wasted or trying to be cool. It makes no sense and is usually gross.

'I'm gonna be the next president, or I'm gonna die trying.', said right before he ate a whole pizza.

'I'm a rockstar. I just don't have a band.', said while wearing pajamas to a party.

'I'm rich. I just haven't told my wife yet.', said when he owed the grocery store $50.

A fake religion that says being a dad is the best thing ever. It's just an excuse to be lazy and eat junk food.

'I'm a holy man. I just haven't been called yet.', said while eating a donut at 3 AM.

'This is sacred ground. My son walked here.', said when he tripped over a toy.

'I'm on a spiritual journey. I just need more coffee.', said during a church service.