Daddy Tissues

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When dad has so many tissues it looks like he’s been crying through a whole bag of chips.

Dad: 'I’m not sick. I’m just emotionally drained.' (He has 12 tissues.)

Mom found a tissue in the cereal box. It was used.

Dad’s tissues are taking over the couch. He’s not sitting. He’s lying on them.

Dad’s face is buried in a mountain of tissues like he’s trying to suffocate himself with a sneeze.

Dad: 'I’m not sniffling. I’m doing a tissue ritual.'

He used a tissue to wipe his nose, then ate it. That’s not a snack. That’s a crime.

He had to use the tissue as a hat. It was that bad.

Dad’s tissues are so bad they should have their own Instagram page.

He posted a photo of his tissues with the caption: 'My life.'

He tried to fold a tissue like origami. It just fell apart.

He brought tissues to the grocery store. He was that desperate.

Dad’s tissues are so bad they make the trash look good.

He threw a tissue in the trash. It was like a funeral for the trash.

He used a tissue to wipe the floor. It was that dirty.

He used a tissue to clean his phone. It was that gross.

Dad has so many tissues he might as well be a tissue delivery man.

He brought tissues to work. He was that sick.

He used a tissue to write a note. It was that used.

He had a tissue for every sneeze. He had 10 sneezes.

Dad’s face is covered in tissues like he’s trying to hide from the world.

He had tissues on his head, eyes, and ears. He was that covered.

He used a tissue to cover his nose. It was that bad.

He used a tissue as a blindfold. He was that dramatic.