Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

You’re begging for a daddy or mommy like you’re on your knees in a church and the priest is giving you communion but it’s chocolate and it’s free.

Hey daddy, I’ll take all your money if you let me wear your hat

Mommy, I want you to spank me with a credit card

Can I call you daddy so I can skip math class?

2

You call your lover daddy or mommy because you’re a weirdo who likes to be yelled at like a kid who didn’t clean their room.

I love you like you’re my daddy and I’m your obedient slave

Mommy, I’ll do anything if you let me eat your lunch

Daddy, I’ll take your money and your hat and your dignity

3

A daddy or mommy who pays for everything but still acts like they’re rich and you’re poor and you’re lucky to be their slave.

I pay for your food, your clothes, and your dignity

You’re my slave and I’m your rich mommy

You eat my food and I pay for your gym membership

4

Your dad says it when he’s doing the dirty and you’re watching like it’s the most embarrassing thing in the world.

Dad, you’re doing the dirty and I’m eating my cereal

He said it while I was doing my homework

I heard him say it while I was eating pizza

5

A dad who did everything for you because your mom was too busy being lazy or too busy being busy or both.

My dad did everything because my mom was lazy

He was my mom and my dad because my mom was busy

He was there for me and my mom wasn’t even there

6

When annoying people with annoying kids ruin a conversation because they think their kids are the main event.

My kid said ‘hi’ and now we’re all talking about him

Her kid said ‘I like dogs’ and now we’re all talking about her kid

His kid said ‘I like math’ and now we’re all talking about his kid

7

You’re having sex quietly so your kids don’t wake up and ask why you’re both making weird noises.

We were having sex and the kid asked why we were making weird noises

We were having sex and the kid came in and said ‘why are you both making weird noises’

We were having sex and the kid asked if we were doing math