DADDY HAS SHIT ON HIS MIND

Dad: I couldn't find my keys because I had a full brain. My brain was full of garbage.

Dad: I burned the toast because I had a full brain. My brain was full of garbage.

Dad: I missed the bus because I had a full brain. My brain was full of garbage.

Dad: I didn't do my homework because I had a full brain. I was too lazy to think straight.

Dad: I forgot to pay the bill because I had a full brain. I was too lazy to think straight.

Dad: I walked into the wrong room because I had a full brain. I was too lazy to think straight.

Dad: I didn't brush my teeth because my brain was clogged with nonsense.

Dad: I got lost on the way to school because my brain was clogged with nonsense.

Dad: I ate the whole cake because my brain was clogged with nonsense.

Dad: I spilled my coffee because I was thinking about stupid stuff.

Dad: I missed the game because I was thinking about stupid stuff.

Dad: I wore my pajamas to work because I was thinking about stupid stuff.

Dad: I couldn't walk because my brain was full of crap.

Dad: I fell off the couch because my brain was full of crap.

Dad: I ate the whole pizza because my brain was full of crap.

Dad: I got kicked out of school because my brain was full of nonsense.

Dad: I forgot my lunch because my brain was full of nonsense.

Dad: I cried during the movie because my brain was full of nonsense.