Daddy Flopkins

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the only man who could make a bald head look like a royal crown

Daddy Flopkins walks in and the whole club stops talking. Even the DJ forgot the beat.

My cousin tried to be cool by saying 'I know Daddy Flopkins.' I laughed so hard I spilled my soda.

He showed up at my grandma's funeral and made it a party. People are still mad.

the man who could turn a sidewalk into a runway with just one step

He came out in a pink suit and no one blinked. They just started clapping.

My mom said he was 'the most beautiful man she ever saw.' I told her she was high.

He walked past my teacher and she forgot to take attendance for a whole week.

the only person who could make a pizza look like a masterpiece

He ate a whole pizza and said it was 'just okay.' The chef cried.

He ordered a pizza and then drew a mustache on it. Now it's famous.

He brought a pizza to the gym and everyone started doing push-ups just to see it.