daddy crocs

I saw him digging through the compost in crocs like he was mining for gold.

He tried to teach my kid how to plant tomatoes and failed because he used a shovel like a sword.

He wore crocs to the parent-teacher meeting and the teacher asked if he was wearing shoes or feet.

He showed up to the football game in crocs and the kids laughed so hard they got detention.

He tried to lift weights in crocs and his feet looked like they were about to explode.

He told the whole school he was a ‘warrior’ and then tripped on a crack in the sidewalk.

He showed up to the dance in crocs and nobody asked him to slow dance.

He tried to rap in crocs and the mic drop was louder than his voice.

He told his kid to be quiet and then yelled at the dog in crocs.