daddy chris evans

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5 views · Added 16d ago · 6 definitions

1
the only reason america exists is because he gave it a good slap
Daddy Chris Evans is the reason I passed geometry
He’s the reason I know how to slap a continent
He’s the only guy who could make the president cry
2
can play the piano like he’s trying to seduce it
He plays piano like it’s his ex
He plays piano like he’s trying to get a job at a bar
He plays piano like he’s trying to make the moon jealous
3
knows every word to every song from little mermaid and probably wrote them
He knows the little mermaid song better than my mom
He could sing the little mermaid song in his sleep and still be sexy
He probably wrote the little mermaid song and forgot to charge me
4
is big like he just came out of a meat locker
He’s big like he’s been eating meat for 10 years
He’s big like he’s the reason the fridge broke
He’s big like he could bench press a cow
5
has hands so nice they should be in a museum
His hands are so nice they should be on a dating show
His hands are so nice they could make a statue cry
His hands are so nice they should have their own Instagram
6
can have your babies and still look like he just walked out of a magazine
He can have my babies and still look like a superhero
He can have my babies and still beat me in a race
He can have my babies and still make my ex jealous
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