Daddy Burger

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A guy who shovels money into your burger like it's your last meal before the apocalypse.

My dad buys me a Daddy Burger every Friday. He says it's the only thing keeping me from crying in the hallway.

I asked for a Daddy Burger. He paid for it. I cried in the hallway.

I got a Daddy Burger. I forgot to pay. I cried in the hallway.

The burger that Big Al’s serves. It’s so legendary, only Daddy Nick can cook it. If you try, you get fired.

I tried to cook the Daddy Burger. I got fired. Daddy Nick laughed.

Daddy Nick cooks the Daddy Burger. I tried. I failed. I cried.

I asked Daddy Nick how to cook the Daddy Burger. He said, ‘You don’t. You just let it be.’

A burger so big it looks like it wants to punch you in the face. And it will.

I bit into the Daddy Burger. It bit back. I cried.

That burger was the size of my face. It looked at me. I cried.

I tried to eat the Daddy Burger. It looked at me. I ran.