Dadalitarianism

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A crazy rule where everything is weird and holy, like Dalí painted the Bible with glitter and poop.

My mom started a church where the altar is a giant pizza.

The pastor wore a chicken suit and preached in rhymes.

The hymns are just people screaming into a megaphone.

A messed-up way of life where holy stuff is just random nonsense, like God threw a tantrum and drew a mustache on Jesus.

My teacher made us write essays about why the sky is a conspiracy.

The school chapel is just a gym with a fake cross.

The principal wears a cape and yells at the ceiling.

A wild belief system where holy art is just a bunch of ugly stuff, like God took a nap and painted with socks.

My art class painted the Mona Lisa with ketchup and glitter.

The school play was just a kid screaming about bananas.

The principal’s portrait is just a sock on a face.

A crazy religion where everything is holy and random, like Jesus came back just to eat tacos and yell at clouds.

My brother started a church where they worship tacos.

The pastor eats a taco every Sunday and talks to clouds.

The hymns are just people singing about pizza.

A stupid ideology where holy stuff is just nonsense, like God took a break and drew a beard on the moon.

My teacher made us write about the beard on the moon.

The school chapel is just a room with a giant beard.

The principal wears a beard and yells at the sun.

A weird belief where holy art is just a mess, like God dropped a bucket of paint and ran away.

My art class painted the Bible with glitter and mud.

The school play was just people screaming about paint.

The principal’s portrait is just a mess of paint.