dad poop

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5 views · Added 16d ago · 2 definitions

1
When a dad spends so long in the bathroom it feels like he’s hiding from the devil himself just to avoid the screaming match that’s about to happen. Most of these trips end with him just sitting there like a f***ing king.
I’ve been in there for 45 minutes and I still haven’t pooped. I’m just enjoying the silence.
He’s been in there so long, I’m starting to think he’s dead.
I’m not even going to ask what he’s doing in there. I’ve already accepted my fate.
2
When a dad takes forever to poop because he’s too f***ing lazy to just do it, and he’s like, ‘I need a full 20 minutes to be a real man.’
He’s been in there for 20 minutes and still hasn’t pooped. He’s just there to be dramatic.
He comes out and says, ‘I did it,’ but I don’t even know what that means.
He took 15 minutes to poop, and then he had to wash his hands for another 10.
xs