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When a dad spends so long in the bathroom it feels like he’s hiding from the devil himself just to avoid the screaming match that’s about to happen. Most of these trips end with him just sitting there like a f***ing king.
I’ve been in there for 45 minutes and I still haven’t pooped. I’m just enjoying the silence.
He’s been in there so long, I’m starting to think he’s dead.
I’m not even going to ask what he’s doing in there. I’ve already accepted my fate.