dad drunk

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5 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

1
A man who drinks so much he turns into a smelly, loud, barely human version of himself, usually around 2 a. m.
Dad drunk: I just yelled at the TV for calling me a 'weakling.'
Dad drunk: I tried to dance to the 80s and fell into the couch.
Dad drunk: I told my kid I was going to beat up the moon.
2
When a man drinks so much he forgets he has a brain and starts talking to the cat like it's a cop.
Dad drunk: I just told my cat to arrest my wife for 'disobedience.'
Dad drunk: I tried to sing karaoke and my voice broke like a bad pizza.
Dad drunk: I called my boss a 'chicken' and he gave me a warning.
3
A man who drinks until he looks like he’s been hit by a truck and smells like a gym sock that’s been left in a trash can.
Dad drunk: I just tried to wrestle my brother and he won. I didn’t even try.
Dad drunk: I told my mom I was going to retire from drinking. Then I drank more.
Dad drunk: I said my dog was a ‘bad influence’ and then I sat down and cried.
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